Managing Behaviour ...

The Language of Behaviour

For many of us the language we use to deal with poor behaviour in our swim classes reflects the language we heard as we were growing up.

Sadly using this language isn’t always the most successful way to deal with poor behaviour. Building up your repertoire by learning new strategies and new ways to respond can reduce some of the frustration associated with disruptive behaviour in the pool.

The following scenario demonstrates how language was used to modify one particular child’s behaviour –

Nine year old Sam was confident in the water but struggling with learning how to breathe. He repeatedly disrupted the class by grabbing kickboards from the other swimmers who were trying to practice.

Sam’s disruptive behaviour might have been caused by a variety of issues He could have found the task difficult, scary or uninteresting. He might not have been able to see the relevance of the skills he was being taught, in his eyes lessons were taking up precious after school play time.

Sam’s behaviour might improve if he changed to a more appropriate class or was given more personalised attention. Unfortunately we don’t always have these options. Instead we need to come up with strategies that improve behaviour within the existing class.

The teacher or the parent could try punishing Sam but the problem with punishment is that it can be a distraction. Instead of feeling sorry and thinking about the bad behaviour and how else he might have behaved, Sam is likely to be preoccupied with the punishment.

Instead of punishment Sam’s behaviour was modified by using the following 7 steps to better behaviour.

7 Steps for bringing about a change in behaviour…

Point out a way to be helpful.
In this case the teacher asked Sam to be helpful by giving him a job to do, such as, bringing out or stacking the kickboards or handing out and collecting the kickboards at the end of the activity.

Express strong disapproval (without attacking character).
The teacher clearly stated “I don’t like anyone grabbing the kickboards when people are swimming, it makes kicking hard for them” .

State your expectations.
The children were told “everyone only touches their own kickboard” .

Show the child how to make amends.
Sam was told “What I need you to do now is to look after your own kickboard” .

Give a choice.
Responsibility was put back on Sam’s shoulders when the teacher said, “You can only touch your own kickboard or you can kick without a board, you decide”.

Take action, follow through.
When Sam “forgot” and reverted back to grabbing the kickboards from the other children he was clearly and calmly told “I see you have decided to kick without a kickboard” .

Allow the child to experience the consequences of misbehaviour.
Sam enjoyed the feeling of buoyancy from the kickboards and he wanted to keep that privilege. He also liked being friends with the other children. Sam realized they were getting annoyed with him once the teacher pointed out how difficult he was making life for the other children.

Another mature and successful way to manage undesirable behaviour…

Problem solving

Rather than focusing on punishment and revenge this strategy directs the focus of all those involved towards a mutually agreeable solution. Problem solving allows all participants to feel their opinions are of value and are respected. This strategy also equips children with an invaluable life skill for dealing with conflict.

Old habits die hard…

It's unrealistic to expect new behaviour management strategies to be learnt overnight, change takes time. At first you might only remember one or two of the steps, but with a little effort, problem solving can become second nature.

For problem solving to be successful the teacher will need to:

· Be as tuned into the child as possible, and be willing to accept what the child says.

· Listen carefully for information and feelings they may not have heard before.

· Avoid being judgemental, or lecturing the child.

· Avoid trying to persuade or convince the child.

· Be prepared to consider any new ideas- no matter how way out they seem.

· Allow time. If no solution is forthcoming be prepared to do more thinking, investigating or talking.

All parties need to feel calm…

For problem solving to be successful all parties need to feel calm. If this is not a good time for any of the people involved, then the session should be scheduled to a more suitable time.

The following key points will guide you through a number of important issues ...

1. Recognise that there is a problem… Tell the child ‘We have a problem” (Avoid using the word “you”). “Jumping up and down in the pool is distracting the other children”.

2. Problems need solutions … “We need to find a solution to this problem” (we can work on this together).

3. Talk about the child’s feelings first… “I imagine you must be feeling…”.

4. Take as much time as need to be clear on how the child is feeling… “I really want to be clear on how you feel about all this”.

5. Tell the child about your feelings… “Here’s how I feel about the lesson when children jump around”. Keep it short when mentioning your feelings… It will be hard for the child to listen if you go on and on!

6. Invite the child to work on finding a mutually acceptable solution… “What do you think we could do to solve this problem?”

7. Allow the child to give the first few ideas… Avoid rushing in with all your ideas.

8. Avoid commenting on or evaluating any of these ideas… All ideas are welcome at this point, no matter how way out they might seem.

9. Write all ideas down.

10. Discuss which ideas you like and which you don’t like… Avoid put downs such as “That’s a silly idea”.

11. Describe how you feel and why… “I wouldn’t feel comfortablewith that because…” Or “We could do that”.

12. Cross off any ideas that you both agree are not viable.

13. Make your plan… Between the two of you work out what steps you need to take. Who will be responsible for what and where applicable a realistic time line.
ie The child will be responsible for looking at you when you speak his or her name.
You will be responsible for keeping instructions short and / or interesting for the child.
The child will be responsible for being ready when you say his or her name.You will be responsible for reminding the child that his or her turn is coming up soon.
Work out the plan between the two of you (or you and your class).

14. Remember there’s no place in this discussion for blame or accusation… If the child tries to use blame, state “We are not talking about the past. We are focusing on a solution for the future”.

Problem solving strategies for swim lessons might mean the whole class problem solving a class issue before starting the lesson, or it may mean some “one-on-one” problem solving time with a child who has specific behaviour problems. Whichever strategy you need to use, taking the time to set up a behaviour management strategy now can save you and the children much frustration later on.